


Awake

by fandomoverload



Series: Awake [1]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-26 14:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomoverload/pseuds/fandomoverload
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is something very wrong with Patrick Jane.  He doesn't know if he's awake or asleep.  One minute he's at the CBI and the next minute he's back with his wife Angela and Daughter Charlotte.   How can this be happening?   Well you have to read to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Patrick Jane knew that he was late. Lisbon had called him a good forty five minutes ago and gave him the address to their newest case but he just couldn't drag himself from bed to go. He didn't know what was wrong with him the past few days. He felt drained and that headache that he had been getting now was back with a couple more friends. It hurt so bad he couldn't see straight. Just as soon as he felt himself drifting back off his cellphone rang.

"Hey." He answered.

"Don't you hey me, Jane we are here waiting on you to do your thing. Have you even left your place?" Teresa Lisbon shouted into his ear causing his headache to worsen.

"I think, yes I think it's time I use one of those sick days." He whispered.

After taking note to his hushed tones she started to feel a little concern for her consultant.

"Jane, are you okay?" she asked genuinely concerned.

After hear the concern in her voice Jane decided that no matter how horrible he felt he just couldn't take listening to Lisbon's voice dripping with pity. Pity from her was irksome.

"I'll be there in ten minutes." He hung up before he could change his mind.

"Did you get a hold of Jane?" Van Pelt asked.

"Yea, he said he was sick but then he recanted."

Teresa noticed the look on her fellow agents face.

"What is it?" she asked.

"It's probably nothing but yesterday, he slept the afternoon away on the couch."

"Yesterday was a slow day. How is that different than any other?"

"Well he made his tea and didn't drink it. He said it tasted funny, and have you noticed lately he looked so tired."

She had noticed. She wouldn't want her agents to know but she had noticed a change in the man. She would have to observe him closer once he got there.

Van Pelt spotted him first as he practically staggered into the crime scene. Charlie Xavier had been murdered last night. The weird thing was she had been missing for the past week. She had gone missing without a trace, stolen from her bedroom. Now as if by magic she was returned to her family just as she was stolen only difference was that she was dead.

"You alright Jane?" Van Pelt asked concerned.

"Never better." He smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

He slowly circled the body trying to see what he could find. She was young; she couldn't be any older than 14 or 15 years old. Her eyes were what caught him off guard, they were green, so green yet at first glance they looked almost blue. He knew eyes like that, eyes like his. Her killer hadn't killed her maliciously, he had given her something to make her pass in her sleep, but she had an allergic reaction and it ended violently. He took extra care when he bathed her and put her in fresh pajamas. Her makeup was immaculate and she smelt of strawberries and cream. Right when it hit his nose he knew he had to get out of there. He quickly ran from the room ignoring the calls from both Lisbon and Van Pelt.

When Lisbon rounded the corner she was shocked at what she saw. The usually calm and collected Patrick Jane was throwing up in the bushes. If he was drunk and puking up her crime scene so help her she would have his ass.

"Jane!" she shouted.

When he looked up she had never been more frightened in her life. His face was white as a sheet, so white that his green eyes were stark and blank. There was blood coming from his nose. He looked at it shocked and wiped it away with a shaky hand.

"Lisbon!" he shouted and walked towards her.

She was scared but she was crossing the distance to him and taking out her cellphone at the same time. Before she finished dialing 911 Jane collapsed like a broken ragdoll.

Patrick woke with a start. He looked around and noticed that he was in hospital. He tried to think of what had happened. It all had come back to him. He had a headache and he was at the crime scene. All of a sudden it was like he was under water and there was this loud pop and then everything went dark.

He was pulled from his thoughts because he felt movement at the bottom of his bed. He expected the auburn locks Teresa Lisbon to be at the foot of his bed but instead there was a blonde head that he couldn't place. A young woman from what he could tell by the side of her face that was visible. She also had scar that she was trying to cover by makeup but he could see it clearly. He tried to remember where he had seen it before but everything was so foggy and when he thought his head really hurt to the point he couldn't stifle a loud moan escaping which caused the girl to look up shocked.

Then he saw it, those green eyes that looked almost blue, and the eyes of his late daughter.

"Daddy!" she shrieked as she rushed to the head of the bed giving him a big hug. "I was so scared; we got here just as soon as we got the call."

His head was spinning even more now. Nothing made any sense. His daughter was there and she was fourteen, but he knew that was impossible she died when she was seven. Before he could say anything else the door opened.

"God damn it Jane! Do you realize how asinine that was?"

He smiled now this was something that made sense.

"Angela was beside herself when I finally got a hold of her, she'll be here soon. I got Charlie first of course, because she was keeping your couch warm down at the CBI. For the last time you are not a cop you consult. I know that this was a lead to Red John but you have to let us do our job." She paused when she noticed he was looking at her funny.

"Jane?" she asked concerned.

"This is wrong. This is all wrong, who is she? I don't know her." He asked almost panicked.

"Dad what's the matter? It's me, it's Charlotte. What happened out there Aunt Teresa they say that the bullet just grazed his head. What happened to my daddy?"

"Patty!" a voice from the doorway shouted.

This was the moment. This was the moment that Patrick Jane didn't care what kind of world that he was in but there was his Angela and she was hugging him, and she was kissing him and before he knew it he was crying. He was crying because she was there with him, both of them were and they were alive.

"Patty, I came as soon as I heard, are you okay?" she asked cupping his face.

"I-I guess that it's just the accident, I really don't feel well." He told her which was saying something really.

"Of course you don't going in a building and you don't even have a gun, how many times Patty must Teresa and I explain to you that you are not a cop and you can't keep getting yourself into these situations."

"I really don't remember much of what happened." He sighed sinking into his pillows.

"Its fine, you rest." She rose to rise from the bed.

"Don't go." He reached out panicked.

"Its fine Patty, I will be here when you wake up I'm going to go and talk to your doctor. You rest."

"Yea rest dad, I'm going to sit right here." Charlotte told him taking a seat.

He was scared to sleep. What if when he woke up all of this was over and he was back at that crime scene with the dead girl with Charlotte's eyes and both she and Angela were gone? No he wouldn't sleep, he couldn't he wouldn't lose them again. Try as he might just as soon as he felt himself getting comfortable the sleep came and he succumbed to it.

Teresa Lisbon was terrified. She had no idea that Jane had been so sick once again he had been keeping things from her. When he collapsed before her she didn't know what to think, and now they are running these test, and then he made her his medical proxy. Why? Didn't he have family? She knew what was going on with his father but what about his mother? He never talked about her where was she? Now she had been waiting for a half hour and no one had said a word to her.

"Teresa Lisbon?" a doctor asked as he approached her.

"Yea, that's me. How's Jane? Can I see him?"

"He did regain consciousness for a few minutes but he was severely disoriented. At first he was calling for you but then he began having a conversation with a Charlotte?" the doctor silently asked.

"That's the name of his late daughter; she and her mother were murdered nine years ago.

"I'm guessing that would be an Angela, he spoke of her too. He is once again resting peacefully but he may be awake soon. We haven't had the time to tell him what we found on the CAT scan. I'll show you to his room. You can go and sit with him if you like. I'm sure that when he wakes up and finds out that he's going to need you."

She walked quietly down the hall to the private room that Jane had been moved too. It was nice and well decorated. She thought to herself that he must have some good insurance to have a room like this, he would be here awhile. Well she knew honestly that he probably wouldn't be there any longer than an hour but they had high hopes of him staying longer. How could this be happening? She knew that he had a headache a lot lately. He had told her, but she thought it was stress of everything. Now he was sitting there and she didn't like the look on his face. She took his hand that was too clammy for him at the moment.

"Come on Jane wake up." She whispered as she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Jane jolted awake, someone was calling his name. He could've sworn it was Lisbon. She sounded so broken and afraid. Why? He had just talked to her hadn't he, or was that a dream. He continued to lie with his eyes closed. He knew that he was in a hospital and part of him was afraid to let on that he truly was awake. He didn't want to open his eyes and see that it truly was a dream and they were gone.

"Patty I know your awake." Came the teasing voice of one Angela Jane.

"How long was I asleep?" Jane asked as he stretched which caused a flicker of pain to run through his entire body.

"Awhile, they say that's normal though you've been through a trauma. Charlotte went to get something to eat so we can talk alone. You can't keep doing these types of things Patty. I know that you want Red John for what he did to us but we're fine. Charlotte is getting better with crowds and she's making new friends at her new school. She's even agreed to have her picture taken next week the school has a new photographer." She explained.

"New photographer?" he questioned.

"Yes, he told her she had nice bone structure. You should've heard her talk about him earlier everyone at the school adore him. I see that you are barely able to stay awake. Go ahead and go back to sleep. I'm going to be right here when you wake up." She smiled down on him.

"You promise?" he felt himself asking.

"Of course sweetheart, I'm going to be right here. You just rest, you're safe and nothing is going to happen to any of us." She squeezed his hand soothingly. It was funny; it was almost as if someone else had been holding that hand before she took it.

He felt himself drifting off to sleep. Everything was so confusing.

"No." Patrick moaned.

This was the first sound he had made in the last four hours and Lisbon leaped to her feet and took his hand again.

"Can you hear me Jane? It's me Lisbon. Come on Jane, open those eyes for me.

Something was very wrong, this was not like when he fell asleep. When Angela promised to be there with him his had a little headache. That was believable when they told him how the bullet had grazed his skull, but this was too much. He wanted know he knew that he was going to vomit. The vanilla scent of Lisbon's shampoo and that antiseptic smell that all hospitals had was going to make the rest of that bear claw that he had for breakfast.

"Lisbon." He groaned as he lifted his head quick enough to lean over his bed to upchuck on the floor adjacent to his visitor.

Although Lisbon was happy to see that he was finally awake, it hurt deeply to find that he was still nauseous. Although she was Patrick's medical proxy they hadn't shared the full diagnosis with her because they were certain that he would wake. Now she just had to wait until a Dr. Argentina came in to give them the verdict. She didn't know why she felt so scared.

"Oh hey Lisbon, you didn't have to come back." He beamed that his partner cared enough to come back.

"Come back, did you think that I'd leave you now. I was so scared when you collapsed at the scene. Jane why didn't you tell me the headaches were so severe?"

"Headaches, Lisbon what are you-?" he stopped mid-sentence.

He knew. He knew it had to be a dream, but it felt so real. She was there at the foot of his bed. So beautiful and energetic, but most importantly she was alive. How could that be? He never went to sleep. He told himself to stay awake and he had, and when he awoke Angela was there. With her deep brown hair and green eyes, the eyes he loved. She had promised to be there when he woke up, that was real, and that was real. He wanted that back, he needed Charlotte. He was going to tell Lisbon that she needed to leave and bring back his Charlotte.

Lisbon was afraid, after Jane had woken up and vomited he lied back on the bed and now he was just looking at her but something was off.

"Jane?" she asked.

"Lisbon the water is wet. I need a table." He said.

"What?" she asked confused.

"A table, I need a table. It's wet all wet!" he panicked.

"Jane, are you okay?" she was scared and before she knew it she'd climbed on the bed beside him and taken his hand.

"Orange! Orange, take it back someone's watching. The sky is down, it's down!" he babbled incoherently.

That was it, she pressed the nurse's call button on the side of the bed and held Patrick tighter. She didn't like what was going on inside of his head. A part of her wanted to run out and make the nurse's get in there quicker but when she saw the panic in his eyes she knew this is where she belonged.

"It's okay Patrick, I'm not going anywhere." She tried to soothe him.

"Lisbon, you fell on the latch. It was closed and I….I…..help me Lisbon!"

Lisbon gasped because that was the first coherent thing he'd said all night and then his body went rigid and he began to convulse.

"Someone get in here now!" she shouted when the nurse finally answered his call.

"Lisbon!" Jane shouted up in the bed.

"It's okay sweetheart its fine, Charlotte get a nurse tell them he's awake." Angela told her daughter who quickly left the room.

Jane quickly began to look around the room. "What the hell was going on?" he thought to himself. He knew that this couldn't be true but he liked this world better. He was happy he had his family. As he clung to his wife as she comforted him he decided one thing for sure. Whatever he did he had to stay awake.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lisbon had never been so terrified in her life. What the hell had just happened? That was three hours ago. Patrick had come out of his sleep and he seemed happy to her, but then what was going on with all that table crap and the sky was down how was one's sky get that way. Then when he body went rigid, a part of her wanted to turn away but she held on to him so tightly when they pulled her from the room she didn't want to let go. That was two hours ago. She looked up when Dr. Argentina approached.

"What happened in there? Don't give me that crap about not being able to tell me he put me in charge and I need to know. He was speaking all weird, is he going to be okay?" Lisbon was trying but it was hard to keep her professional mannerisms going.

"We put him on an anticonvulsant that should stop that from happening again for now. He's still unconscious. When he wakes up and if he he's coherent there will be big decisions to make."

"What kind of decisions?" she asked trying to hide her emotions.

"Do you have any idea how long he had these headaches? Has he been acting strange lately?"

"Are you familiar with Patrick Jane? He works for the CBI but do you know what he does for us exactly?"

"No, I'm not familiar with him. I just moved here to Sacramento but when his name came up there was a buzz all around so I'm guessing he's more than just a consultant.

"Jane is sort of a celebrity here not just in Sacramento but the whole state, hell everyone in the world knows his name. He used to have a great national talk show where he reunited folks with their loss love ones. He communicated with the other side. He also would help the police department track down killers. He was helping with the Red John Murders, and well he taunted him on live television only to come home and find that he had murdered his wife and child. He didn't like the fact that Jane was talking about him on TV, or the fact that he was well a fake."

"I see. Well what does this have to do with his behavior or if he was showing any other systems?" she asked.

"He's been highly trained in a lot of mental games. He could be having all kinds of systems but he knows how to slow his heartbeat or if anyone was seeing anything that could be an indicator he could use hypnosis so that they wouldn't notice. He once told me that he worked for three weeks needing his appendix removed and no one was wiser until he collapsed at a live showing. He bragged about it, sort of his on rendition of Houdini. If he was sick I'd never known. I just noticed in the past week I thought this was the flu or something. Please tell me how bad is it? You can't expect me to make decisions and then only tell me part of the story."

"Agent Lisbon I noticed how you refer to him as Jane and he uses your surname as well. The two of you are close any one watching closely can see. I hear you say that he works for the CBI so I'm guessing that they might be some kind of rule about people being together so anything you tell me is safe. Are you involved romantically?"

These questions were getting downright personal. What did that have to do with anything? Lisbon thought to herself. She tried to hide blush in her cheeks when she thought about she and Jane together. Sure they had been together for so long and if he wasn't still living in the past with his wife she often thought that by now maybe they could be together, but no they weren't together. "No. Jane and I are friends, he's my best friend." Lisbon stated.

"He's really going to need you right now Agent Lisbon. On the CAT scan we found a mass on the right side." He stated in terms she could understand.

"Mass." She gasped. "Are you telling me that Jane has a brain tumor?" she asked hoping that somehow she misunderstood.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. He is going to need you; he's going to need anyone that's important to him. So if he has family I would try and get a hold of them." She quickly squeezed her shoulder and left her there stunned in the corridor.

*Awake*

When Patrick Jane opened his eyes again he knew that things were very wrong but for once he just didn't care anymore. At least this time he wasn't in a hospital room anymore. He sat up and stretched. Although he was a bit achy and he could feel that there was something going on in his head all and all he felt fine. He felt his stomach turn to smells of something good. He went in search of that delicious smell which led him downstairs.

The smell was coming from his kitchen where he found two blonde heads making breakfast. Angela was nowhere in sight.

"Dad! I'm so glad you're up. We made your favorite. Have a seat and eat up before it gets cold." Charlotte told her father as she led him to the head of the kitchen table.

Patrick took in the house, he knew it well but it was so strange seeing it furnished. When he closed his eyes he could still see how this room was now in his house. Most of it was still the same, only Angela's coat hung over one of the chairs and the fridge was covered in Charlotte's drawings from her first year of big girl summer camp. He closed his eyes tightly trying to ease away the headache.

"You alright Mr. J?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

He looked up to see that it was the face of the other blonde that was in the kitchen. It you squinted she could be Charlotte. In fact he knew her, where did he know her from? It was right on the tip of his tongue.

"I wanted to come and see you while you were in the hospital. Mrs. J told me how you were having a problem with your memory and how seeing me could be a bit confusing."

"Yea dad, you will not believe this but the new photographer said it too. He thought that Charlie and I were twins. We told him how everyone thinks that and how cool it is that we both have the same name. He started calling us Charlie Squared isn't that cool. We're going to get shirts made. What do you think?"

Patrick tried to focus but all he could see when he looked at this poor girl was where he knew her from. Charlie Xavier was 14 or 15 years old and he was more than certain that she was dead. In fact he knew that seeing her dead body was the last thing he remembered that was normal in his life.

"Dad are you okay? You look a bit green, maybe you should go back to bed?" Charlotte asked.

He was trying to focus but it was getting harder and harder. He turned to look at Charlie X and her little Charlotte2 logo design but things were getting blurry. He hopped from the table trying to make it back upstairs because all of a sudden the bed felt inviting. Someone squeezed his hand. He looked down and no one was there.

"Go call mom!" his daughter told her friend who dashed to the phone by the counter in the kitchen.

"Dad, are you with me? Are you okay? Should I call an ambulance or something?"

Patrick looked deep into his daughter's eyes and how he wanted to stay with her he couldn't. Lisbon was calling him. He surely wanted to stay with his daughter but Lisbon sounded so scared. He closed his eyes and let the fog take him.

*Awake*

Teresa Lisbon sat back down in her chair defeated She had been holding Patrick's hand the last hour and calling his name hoping that he would open those eyes She really did need to get back to the case. She just didn't want him to be alone when he woke up, and Cho had informed her that it was best that she stayed because of the way Patrick felt about hospital. She hadn't told them. She couldn't tell them. How could she open her mouth to tell them that Jane might not be okay?

She had taken the last hour for two things. First she had gone through his personal belongings trying her best to find something that would lead him to real family. In times like this you need family. She had found his father's number but decided that she wouldn't call him just yet. Patrick had told her about his father and she knew why he wouldn't want him to see him so vulnerable. No matter how she searched she couldn't find anything that belonged to his mother. He never talked about her and therefore he was starting to believe that maybe she had died a long time ago and maybe just maybe he wasn't able to cope with it. She did find a number to an Andy Mayer. She had no idea who it was but it was on a long slip of paper which he kept scratching out what she presumed was the old number and adding a new one so she called the new number and hoped for the best. It was one of those nondescript answering machines so she left a message and hoped for the best.

The other thing that she had come to terms with was what this man lying in this bed meant to her. It had to be true right? If a doctor who barely knew them and new nothing about Jane's past or anything could pick up on it then well It had to be something to it. She looked at that face and she melted. She loved him alright, but the question was how long had she loved him?

"I bet you could answer that question for me. I bet you know the exact moment that I fell for you. When was it Jane?" she asked as she approached the bed taking his hand.

"Come on Jane. Open those eyes for me." She squeezed his hand and dropped her head to say a silent prayer.

*Awake*

When Patrick Jane found himself coming back to reality he felt more relaxed. A familiar presence was holding his hand. He looked up and there she was, his Teresa Lisbon. He could tell that she had been crying this confirmed his suspicions.

"So tell me Lisbon, how long do I have?" he joked giving her his best smile.

Teresa was so happy to see him awake but what he said hurt her to the core. Did he know? It made her heart shatter and she just couldn't look at him anymore. She let go of his hand and ran from the room she couldn't let him see her cry.

"Lisbon." He asked confused. He tried to get up, but the dizziness confined him to the bed.

*Awake*

Grace Van Pelt was doing her best to concentrate of The Murder of Charlotte Xavier but she just couldn't concentrate.

"Oh wow Charlotte Xavier use to live in the neighborhood Jane's estate is in. Do you think he knew her, maybe that's why he had that reaction this morning." She added to the conversation she'd been having with Cho and Rigsby.

"No that wasn't it, you weren't here so you didn't see the crime photos of his daughter. That poor girl looked like his daughter would've looked. That had to be pretty hard going to a crime scene and seeing the face of a little girl, your little girl practically. Did the boss say anything to you about his condition?" Rigsby asked Cho the question he knew Van Pelt wanted to.

"She didn't add anything to it, I'm sure she doesn't want anyone to know until she tells him." Cho added.

"Tells him what?" the other two asked in unison

Cho took a deep breath and looked at his friends. Jane was his friend, sometimes when they were together he would let his guard down and let him in. He knew, he could tell. His grandfather had problems with dementia and Jane had so many signs of someone with those types of problems. He was pretty sure something was going on in his head.

"I think that Jane won't be able to help on this one, I don't think Jane will be able to help us on a lot of upcoming cases." He stated grimly.

The room became a hushed silence after that. Cho hadn't really revealed much but it wasn't what he said, it was the way he said it. They knew that whatever was wrong with Jane it wasn't good.

*Awake*

Teresa Lisbon had finally gotten herself together and was ready to return to Jane's room. She knew that he was joking when he woke up. She knew that he had said it to ease her mind and break the awkward moment of it because she knew that he was afraid of hospitals. She just didn't know what to say to him He was sick really sick. She would do it, she had to be the strong one. She had to be the one to be there for him and if her real feelings came through then she would make sure that he knew that she loved him more than anything. Her little prayer in the chapel had told her that it was time to lie life to fullest. Protocol be damned she wanted Patrick Jane. She came to an abrupt stop when she noticed the very attractive woman over his bed.

*Awake*

Dammit Jane! What the hell is going on?" Andy Mayer asked an either asleep or conscious Jane. She I wasn't sure at the moment.

"I get this call on my phone from Teresa, you have her freaked. I never thought that two of us would come face to face over a tragedy like this. You are so stubborn sometimes; I know that I've been busy the last few times you've called. You are going to make me face her alone. If she is anything like you told me it could be dangerous. She might not approve of our relationship. It's going to be awkward, and she might hit me you told me she was a firecracker. "She leaned in closer and kissed him on the cheek.

"You have to come back to me Patty. I love you so much" she sniffed him and tried her best to stifle a cry.

*Awake*

Lisbon had enough of this. Who the hell was this woman rubbing on Jane and saying she loved him. She had to be in her fifties. She was well kept though, and gorgeous, she had wavy brown hair and blue eyes. Her skin had a nice caramel like tan to it. It definitely wasn't from a tanning bed. She was dressed in a lovely white dress. She was beautiful like an angel. She wanted her gone. Before she realized what she was doing she had already pulled her gun.

"Who the hell are you? Step away from him right now?" she told her pointing a gun at this woman.

"Hey I mean no harm, I just I came as soon as I got your call, I'm Andy Mayer."

Of course Lisbon knew that she had listened to her whole conversation, but when it comes to Jane you couldn't be careful. Why hadn't he said a word since she came back he seemed to be unconscious now She could've done anything to Patrick anyways, she was wasn't backing down.

"Andy Mayer, I found your name is wallet. I'm sorry but you are definitely not what expected. Who are you anyway?" she stated not backing down.

"I'm his mother."

Lisbon definitely didn't see that one coming. She lowered her gun.

"Mom?" Patrick croaked from the bed causing both women to stop their stare down and look at him instead.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Teresa Lisbon was a coward. Sure if it came to fighting the bad guys and throwing herself into danger for the greater good that was fine, but when it came to sitting beside the bedside of the man that she was everyday realizing more and more she was in love with him she just couldn't do it. She still couldn't believe that she had held a gun up to his mother, and the verdict was still out on that one. I mean there was nowhere Andy Mayer could be the mother of Patrick Jane.

She knew that when his eyes opened and he croaked mom a part of her should've been disappointed but how could she? He had woken up and said something that made sense and that was the important thing. She had excused herself from his room so that they could be reunited. Of course that didn't take long because the doctor's came in and did there thing. Evaluation asking question like do you know your name and who is the president? Jane was on point of course and he gave them that what do you take me for an idiot look? God she just melted seeing that look. God she had to get a whole of herself.

After that they gave him a sedative which she thought was stupid, they said that he needed to rest. That he had been through an ordeal the last couple of days. Today they would tell him of his brain tumor and talk options. She had heard it all. First they could do medications to see if that would shrink the tumor and of course he would be on anticonvulsants so that he wouldn't have another seizure. If they went that route he couldn't stay alone. Where was he going to stay? Was she supposed to offer her a place at her home? Now that his mother was here was she going to take him? That's another thing his mother, she wanted to have lunch. God this coffee was not helping, so she knew what she had to do, she had at least four hours before lunch with Mamma Jane, it was time to solve a murder. Oh yes she could do this, if she was lucky maybe they would have a perp to shoot.

*Awake*

Grace was the first one to see that they boss had arrived. She immediately saw how tired she was even though she had on fresh clothes and carried a big cup of her favorite blend Grace knew the look of a woman who hadn't gotten much sleep. Who could blame her, she knew that if that was Wayne in that bed she would be a basket case.

"Good morning Boss." She greeted her in what she hoped was a believable neutral voice.

"Hey Grace, as soon as Cho gets here I want a briefing on what you guys got on the Xavier case and I need you to run a name for me."

"Well Charlotte Xavier's been staying with her aunt and uncle. Those people at the house were not her parents; they are abroad somewhere and will be here sometime this afternoon. Cho thought that he would run the interview in case you were with Jane. That's another thing we found out, did you know that Charlotte Xavier was practically Jane's neighbor. This Charlotte is the same age Jane's daughter would've been. What's the name you want me to run?"

Lisbon had been listening to what Grace had said and then she thought back to the pretty girl as she lay in her bed dead. Jane looked shocked when he saw her; she thought it was because she looked so much like Charlotte, but what if it was recognition? What if he knew something that could crack this case wide open? She needed to see him now. She was sure that he was going to hate her for what she was about to do.

"Andy Mayer, I need you to find out whatever you can on her. She has to be in her early fifties maybe and she comes from New York."

Grace just stood there with her mouth wide open. She knew that her boss wasn't into much fashion but there was no way in hell she didn't know who Andy Mayer was.

"You can't be serious. Did you just tell me to run the name Andy Mayer?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yea I found her number in Jane's pocket and I called her. She's his mother, I just don't believe that."

"Oh my god, are you telling me that Jane is the Patty in Patty Cake Cosmetics?" Grace practically squealed as she showed Lisbon a spread in a magazine from her desk.

Right there in black and white in a spread in InStyle Magazine was Andy Mayer She was gorgeous and she was rich, and she was in her fifties She wondered why Jane didn't tell anyone.

*Awake*

When Patrick Jane opened his eyes he wasn't really sure where he was going to be would it be the world where he was obviously dying, or the world where his wife and daughter were alive and well? He opened his eyes and looked to his left and there she was Any Mayer Oh yes the world definitely hated him.

"I was hoping that was a dream and when I'd wake up you'd be gone." He told her as he stretched his bones and sat straighter in the bed.

"Of course I would be here Patty, I'm worried about you. That poor Lisbon girl is scared to death, but I do have a question for you.

"What would that be mother?" he asked angrily

"How long have you known? We talked to your doctor while you were resting, all of this you have had to have known Patty."

"Why does it matter?"

"Why does it matter? Why does it matter? Patty do you realize how many people here care about you? You are a smart and clever boy so how long have you known about this problem of yours?"

It was times like this that he hated his mother She knew him so well, they were so much alike and he hated that he hated her actually.

"I've known for a while, it started as simple things and then the headaches it's fine, I did the research, and I'll just start with the medication and it'll shrink. It'll all be fine."

"Patrick it's not a bloody nose, this is a serious condition you could die. You could die and you are sitting there like oh well you're just taking a vacation."

"None of it matters If Lisbon knew that I was feeling just a bit off she would make me leave the team, I can't leave the team when I'm so close. I'm so close to catching I can take it."

"Red John, Red John, there you go again with Red John. It's time to move on. That man is destroying your life, and all this time you are just trampling all over that poor girls life. I like her. She's a little spitfire. She pulled a gun on me and everything."

"I appreciate you coming Andy really, but it's time for you to go. I have everything covered here."

"So I'm back to being Andy, are you crazy I'm going to stay here and see you through this."

"No! I don't want to be a part of your media circus, I stay away from that type of thing. I will not be the face of Patty Cake fighting for his life. Do you realize that no one knew? No one knew that I was your son and that you were my mom. I don't want you here in my life messing it up." He shouted.

"Messing it up! Messing it up, you are there in that bed and you don't expect me to be here I'm your mother, and you obviously need someone making decisions for you right now and you are definitely not in your right state of mind."

"What the hell is wrong with you? When I opened my eyes and you were there for one minute I thought, there's my mom she's here and I need her but now your whole attitude has changed "

"That was your caring mom who gets the call from a woman I am assuming you are with and that she needs me because something is wrong and I'm here because that's what I do Patty when you need me I drop everything. Then I get here and it's Lisbon super cop you have been in love with her for five years! Whenever you remember to call you tell me that you are madly in love with her and that you're going to do this and that and are going to finally be happy and I get here and you still have that ring on your finger Angela wouldn't want that."

"How the hell do you know what she would want? You didn't know her; you didn't care about her or Charlotte. You left that life, you left that life and my father and me! You had to get away because his schemes were getting out of hand. You just left and let him use me. I was your son, I'm always forgiving Why am I always forgiving? I forgive you because obviously you didn't want me. I forgive you because you couldn't take the life of the road and had to go away. I forgive you when instead of a birthday present you sent your money, you got on TV and in magazines and you told about how your son was abroad studying and how he was the most important thing to you, but those were lies. I always let you back in and then when I let you back in the last time. You came and was so loving and I was happy because you were my mom, and I was your Patty Cake and you came when they died and I needed you the most I fall asleep in your arms and wake up in a God damn asylum and you..you….you…." Patrick's eyes rolled back in his head and he began to convulse.

Andy had only heard about this from other people she hadn't witnessed it herself. His eyes rolled back in his head and began to suffer to uncontrollable tremors. She was failing him because she was frozen in the spot. It was a blessing that the nurses came in and got to work restraining him. It was too much, she left the room before she lost control, she had done this to him she had gotten him upset and he yelled. She knew she was supposed to keep him calm. She left, she couldn't see them hold him down, and too many memories of when she had him committed came back to mind.

*Awake*

"Jane!" Lisbon shouted causing Jane to jump.

Waking up was always the hardest thing, and when Patrick Jane opened his eyes he knew once again he was not where he belong.

He was at the CBI and the most terrifying thing of all was he was sitting at his desk where the hell his couch was?

"Lisbon?" he questioned the agent in the doorway.

"Come on Jane we have a case, it's time to earn your keep. Nap later.

He quickly got to his feet taking in his surroundings. How long had it been since his last jump? Just thinking of that made him laugh, this sure as hell wasn't Quantum Leap and he didn't see "Sam" anywhere in sight. He wasn't sore anymore, so maybe he was healed up from his accident here. That also made him wonder, if he was healed here were they finally starting him on the meds to help his tumor in the real world or were he dead.

"Jane, did you hear what I said we have a case get your ass in the car, and I mean my car not that contraption you drive your family around in."

Patrick really didn't understand why he had created this world for himself, but it had to be important. He just hoped he stuck around long enough to figure it out.

*Awake*

Lisbon was not happy She was about to interview The Xaviers when she got the call about Patrick. Patrick, when did she start referring to him as Patrick? Probably after she found out she was his proxy, it just got confusing with referring to him as Jane. Apparently he had another attack while he'd been arguing with his mother. It was time for her to go; maybe she really had made a mistake in calling her.

"What the hell happened here?" Lisbon demanded when she came face to face with one Andy Mayer.

"I don't know, I just wanted to talk to him but then he got upset. He went back to all this stuff about when he was younger and I know that I'm a terrible mother, oh my god I left him at a carnival with a son of a bitch of a father, and then I left him in an asylum. He was telling me everything and I guess it was just too much and then he just went slack and oh my god I don't want my baby to die." She sobbed and cried into her shoulder.

Lisbon was more than ready to tell this woman that she needed to go but as she cried into her shoulder she couldn't. After all she was Patrick's mother, and all of this was obviously taking its toll on her as well.

*Awake*

Patrick decided that he didn't like this Lisbon's driving. They were three hours out to the crime scene and she had gotten them there in half the time. Once he got out of the car, he realized that he had to check to make sure he was still in one piece he was sure that he'd left his spine about twenty miles down the road.

"Come on Jane, they kept the body for us." She shouted halfway into the house.

Patrick walked slowly up to the house. It was time for him to try and decide what the hell he was doing here Take it all in and see the differences between this world and his. This house seemed somehow different and he immediately knew one big difference when he came across a very pregnant Van Pelt.

"Rigsby, what do we got?" Teresa asked once Grace approached.

"You guys might want to prepare yourself for this one. It's not that the crime scene is gory or anything, it's just the whole vibe of it all. If I didn't know any better I would have thought she was only sleeping." She shared.

Patrick Jane walked into the house and it was like an eerie déjà vu thing happened There in the bed lied a little girl no older than 14 or 15, she had been bathed and put into a nice pair of pajamas. It was just like she was sleeping, but this little girl had been murdered.

"Shit" he found himself saying out loud.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Okay so maybe killing her wasn't an accident." Jane stated.

"Who said anything about it being an accident, do you see anything that states that it was an accident?" Lisbon asks awaiting his answer.

Jane had to think on his feet. Apparently this was the first killing on this side of the looking glass.

"You would think it was an accident, how he just placed her back here. She looks like she's sleeping. What's her name?"

"This is Libby Matters; she attends Holly Oak Junior High. She was going to be class queen; she went missing three nights ago, after she never showed up after cheerleading practice."

"She's so young, they didn't pick her after, they expected her to walk home after practice?"

"Jane it's a safe neighborhood, no one is as paranoid as you. You know what goes bump in the night most families just think that there child is safe once it comes to a place like this. No one knows that monsters also live in houses with little white fences and alarm systems." Lisbon sighed.

"I wanna see the school, come on Lisbon." Jane quickly exited the crime scene. He had to get on point. No one mentioned anything about his last blackout so he assumed it must've been a while ago. He had to work quickly to get his facts because he didn't know when he'd jump again. Eric Bana made it seem so much cooler in the movie.

*Awake*

Teresa Lisbon watched from the window as they settled Patrick into a new bed. They said that this one would be more comfy since it looked like he would be there for a while. The ward was abuzz over the fact that Andy Mayer was there and that Patrick Jane was her son. She was sure that the news crew would be there in no time. She just couldn't believe this was happening. He hadn't woken up since the last seizure. They finally started him on the meds that were to help relieve the pressure and hopefully get to shrink the tumor.

"Here I thought you could use a cup." Andy smiled as she offered her a cup of coffee.

She took a sip and realized this wasn't the cheap stuff from the cafeteria.

"I got someone to run down the street to a Starbucks for us, they saw that I was upset." She shared.

"You know up until a few hours ago I had no idea who you were, I asked a friend of mine to run your name and she just looked at me like I was the biggest idiot around."

"Patty Cake Cosmetics has become a household name, our age rejuvenating line works wonders, and we are proud that we don't do any animal testing."

"So you're Patrick's mother, I don't mean to be rude but the two of you look nothing alike. Well I see where he got the curls." Lisbon tried to smile but she still kept cutting her eye as the nurse's did there work. She was anxious to get back in there.

"Oh yes Patrick's grandmother, my mother was of African Descent. You can't tell by looking at him, or his sister no I guess coming from a strong Irish father it cancelled out all traces of my family's background."

"Yea, wait Patrick has a brother?"

"Oh my you haven't met Sammy yet? Sammy is well if you can take a super dose of Patrick then you can handle Sammy. I haven't seen him in three years. Patrick is the only one that really keeps up with me. He tries his best to call once a week sometimes twice He's angry with me right now but I'm still his mother."

"You said you were arguing? What happened?"

"Everything I guess. The last time my son saw me I promised I'd be there to care for him when he woke up and when he woke up I was long gone and he was in a mental institution. I mean no harm really Teresa I didn't but after what that butcher did to my grandbaby. When I close my eyes I still see it. It haunts me day after day. Sometimes I try to scrub my hands but I can't seem to get it off of my hands."

"Get what off your hands?" Lisbon asked confused.

"Their blood sweetheart, no matter how I try I can't get there blood off my hands."

Lisbon sat there stunned what the hell she was implying.

*Awake*

Lisbon was beyond pissed. They had been at the school for the last hour or so and Jane still didn't tell her what he was looking for. He interviewed all of her teacher and her best friend and still there was nothing.

"Jane can you please tell me what the hell is going on?" Lisbon asked.

Jane decided that he enjoyed real Lisbon compared to this one. This one was all talk but no punch. She would say she would smack him, and she had eye roll down but there was something different. He wondered if it was the fact that this Lisbon was actually having an affair with the Bosco of this world.

"Libby Matters had a very intense case of Scoliosis." He added as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Okay, what does that have to do with anything?"

"She wore a back brace. Not a simple one either, I noticed in the photographs at her home and in the photographs here that she wears an Old Milwaukee brace. It's quite huge and takes time to get in and out of it. Now because of her curvature even though the brace could be removed Libby had to wear it all times including to bed."

"Okay?" Lisbon added still not knowing where he was going with this.

"Well in her bed beneath the covers Libby had on a pair of her pajamas that were a bit big, and that was because they accommodated the brace. She wasn't wearing it. I saw in her closet, when she snuck out, or when with this person she wasn't wearing it Someone showed Libby that she mattered. Now I just have one more place I need too…" his whole world went black before he could finish his thought.

* Awake*

Waking up in the real world was weird. Of course he knew that his was in fact the real world and he was back. The pain was there and of course the antiseptic smell of the hospital. He also noticed that he had a couple of more new things, like a nicer bed. Courtesy of them finding out who his mother was he was sure of it, they didn't care how much money he had because well he was him. Then there was the tube in his dick. If they were collecting his urine he doubt if they agree about letting him out of this place. So he was stuck here, but for how long that's the question. He looked around and didn't find his mother or Lisbon there. He hoped they hadn't killed each other.

*Awake*

"What do you mean; you couldn't get the blood off your hands?" Lisbon asked terrified of the answer.

"I saw it dear with my own eyes. I don't know how Patrick does it; the clairvoyance can be very overwhelming at times. How he goes around with what he saw firsthand terrifies me. When I came here to see how he was. He was laying n that bedroom under that damn smiley face. With just one touch I saw what he saw the night of the murder."

"When he read that note and walked in that room, she wasn't dead my dear."

"No I read the report, they say that he came in and discovered their bodies, they said that when he got there he was covered in blood because he had been holding his dead daughter."

"When he got there Angela was already dead, but not Charlotte. Just like her father she was strong and she held on."

Lisbon's heart literally stopped, she couldn't make out what his mother was saying. There was so many questions she had and she needed to take advantage while Patrick was resting. What did she mean by clairvoyance? She couldn't mean what she thought she meant. Was she saying that little Charlotte Jane was alive when he got there?

"She was alive when he got there?"

"Yea she was dressed all up."

"What do you mean all dressed up?"

"Alice in Wonderland was her favorite story. Have you been down to the house? They have an elaborate room set up on the top floor like from the story. Everything is big so it looks like she shrunk and then she goes through the little door and comes out to the table for an elaborate tea party. Every Sunday she and Patty would have a Tea Party. She would be Alice and he would be The Mad Hatter. She told him that she was sorry she wouldn't be able to do it anymore, and she was sorry about her pretty little dress. She was so smart for a six year old. When I got here and found him in that room I saw all of that. My hands were caked in the blood from when he held her tightly. Of course it was an echo of his memory but I knew that he had gone through that himself, and that he wouldn't be alright not without some help. So I found Sophie Miller and I got him the help that he needed. I owed it to him, I had to help him not only because he's my son, but because he had saved me so long ago." Then she got this far off look.

"No because you're implying that Patrick is a real psychic and that's not true. That's the whole reason that Red John killed his family. He was tired of him mocking him on TV and he said he was a fraud. Patrick was a fraud." She said once more stretching the point. I mean he was a fraud right?

Andy Mayer looked at this young woman that her son talked about constantly. She meant so much to him yet he hadn't shared his deepest secrets with her. Was it her place to do it? She took another look through the window and saw that he was awake. He was in deep concentration about something; the wheels in that big head of his were spinning. He was trying to figure out something important. Her son was very stubborn, and she knew that he would've never told Angela It was important that she was a carnie because she had seen his gift first hand and loved him anyway. Lisbon was in love with her son any fool could see that, and she loved what he did. She loved the story of a mentalist and in ways her son truly was that, he had all the training but it was a cover. Was it her place to tell the truth? They might be running out of time, and she could tell her story. Patrick Jane didn't have any rights to her story, if what she told secretly bout out what he was so be it.

"What has Patrick told you about me?" she asked fishing for information.

"Nothing really I'm sorry. When I found your number I had no idea who you were, and if you went by Patrick you would think his mother was dead. He did talk about his father though; I don't think he was a very nice man."

"John was a very charming man. He charmed my pants off, literally. He had grown up with a circus before the carnival. His father was a clown. That what he was doing when I met him, dressed up as a clown with a sort of shy smile. I loved him. I had met him on the street and he told me I was beautiful, he used to call me his Caramel Princess, we dated for three weeks and I married him. I told him that I was a psychic and he told me that it would be easy for me to get a job in the show, and that's what I did. I traveled and did my act and then Patrick came along. Oh he was happy, a little Jane to teach the tricks of the trade and boy did he teach him. That's where Patty got all the mentalist skills from. Before I knew it they were an act. I didn't like it; I decided that I didn't want that life for my Patrick, and his brother. John had other ideas."

"Did he hit you?" Lisbon asked.

"Oh yea but it could've been far worst, and thanks to Patrick it wasn't and I was selfish. A mistake I kick myself for every day now."

"What happened?"

"He got the gift. First they were doing simple cons you know, and it was fine. Well of course it wasn't fine but it was really no harm done and then Patrick got the gift. After that, he didn't need me anymore His amazing boy wonder would be the bread and butter, I could just sit home and have babies, and if I didn't agree with him….." she trailed off.

"I know. You don't have to tell me any of this. I'm sorry I asked, come on let's get back in there." Lisbon stood but she was shocked when Andy grabbed her hand.

"No, I have to tell you this so you will get how deep it goes in Patty. What he has to deal with every day. You love that man so much, I know so don't deny it. He loves you as well, and I think you should know everything and decide if you can be with him."

"Okay I'll listen." She took a seat a little closer to her this time.

"Okay well Patrick kept a secret about his gift from for a long time. His father told him that I didn't need to know because well I didn't like the fact that I could see the future. He kept it a secret but then he saw something and he couldn't keep it a secret any longer. He was only 11 years old then."

"What did he see?" Lisbon asked afraid to ask.

"He never elaborated but I know it had to be my death. He told me that I had to leave. That I had to take Sammy and get the hell out of there, before it was too late. Of course I said no, or if I went he was most definitely going with me he was my little boy. My Patty Cake, I just couldn't leave him. He told me that he was the perfect distraction, that when they went out to do their show I was to leave and not worry about him because he never would hurt him he knew this for a fact and like a coward I left. I left my baby to be abused by an asshole for almost ten more years." She began to cry.

Lisbon couldn't believe it. Patrick's mother had left him to be beaten by some man and took her other kid and left him there. What the hell kind of mother was she?

"I was a horrible mother Lisbon; you don't think I know that! He never beat him though, he didn't have too. A child can be abused and the parent could never lay a hand on him. Emotional abuse is awful, to be used for what you can do and praise for it but when you want the simplest thing like a hug you never get it. Patty loved hugs, did you know that?"

Lisbon thought about Patrick and his hugs. He did love them. She closed her eyes and could imagine the times that he did hug her, they were with his full body and then he'd squeeze you and rock you from side to side oh yea she loved Patrick Jane hugs.

"Oh I know that smile you love those hugs. I do too, whenever I see him that's the first thing that I have to do. Hug him and run my hands through those curls.

"Okay I'm not going to say that I believe you when it comes to Patrick being a psychic just yet, but what did Red John mean about him being a fraud if it wasn't the psychic thing."

"Patty was amazing at his work. I know you've seen some stock footage; if only what he said about Red John on TV you've seen it. His showmanship was up there with the best of them. He could captivate the audience in the studio with him as well as the watchers at home. He was that damn good. He's a psychic and can see what's to come, but communicating with the dead well that's a whole other genre."

"That's Ludacris, are you saying Red John killed his family cause he lied about being able to see the dead?"

"Well no, not exactly. It's easy to say you can see the dead, if you just read a person you can tell them what they want to know. It's easy, and sometimes if you touch an object belonging to a person there's no telling what you could find about a person."

When she said that she thought back to Patrick and when he went blind. His reaction after touching the watch in jewelry box, he was frazzled. His hands were literally shaking, what did he see?

"Awe see you recall an incident like that don't you?"

"Maybe." She wasn't giving away answers.

"Red John was angry because Patrick got on TV and pretended to know things about him when in fact he didn't. How he used the skills that he knew to read him and makes assumptions that were true, but what gave him the right to make them? He was happy getting away with the murders; he was happy that the world feared him but didn't know anything about him. That's until my Patty got involved. Sure he was using it to further his portfolio because by then with all the fame I'll admit my Patty was become a cold person, more and more like his father and I was just waiting for the moment Angela called me for help."

"Hell no! I know Patrick, you don't. You ran away with things got hard. You left a little boy because he told you to run, you ran away. Now you are going to sit there and tell me that Patrick abused his wife and daughter. He loves kids, and he loved Angela he is still wearing her ring for God sakes!" Lisbon shouted.

"No, you are getting me all wrong. Patrick never laid a finger on them. He would never do something like that; he did his best to be a better father and husband than his father ever was. The thing is he wanted to provide for them, and he was letting the con affect what he did. He could see things and he probably could've helped a lot more people in those days but that's not what he was about then, he was about who had the deepest pockets. Sure he'd help the cops every now and again but the money and the greed were what motivated him back then. Angela wanted him to stop, she wanted him to I don't know do what he's doing now, but he couldn't his publicist told him he was too good for that sort of thing. That's the fraud Red John spoke of."

"None of that makes sense. You have to be wrong, why would he lie?"

"Think Teresa! Have there been times where he's figured out things that there's no way he could've? That sometimes it's like you think he doesn't know a thing but before it's over he's figured it all out and when you ask him how he just shrugs it off. Does he sleep a lot? On the couch at work, he likes it there it's the noise. He can drown out the images; he can find a center there. Not to mention that Red John's murder and what happened to his daughter plays over and over in his head to the point he can't even sleep. He told me about the little boy that went missing he was very proud that day. He said he did a full psychic vision right in front of you, he let it take over and consume him and you believe it all was an act."

"It was, I mean he played them, it was an act." Lisbon told her but a part of her wasn't so sure herself.

"Think Teresa before he had this faked vision did he touch anything that belonged to the boy or someone involved in the case."

She took a minute to think about that moment. Try and think what had happened before he put on his show. He remembered they were sitting on the couch and he had told her that he'd figured it out. He threw his book in the air and then he went to say goodbye to the mother. He had held both of her hands and then he put on a show. It was a show right?

"He held her hands." She gasped. "That's ridiculous though, he hated Kristina Frye and why would he lie? Why would he want everyone to think he was a fraud?

"He didn't hate Kristina. Do you know he still visits her, he's trying to find her trigger to get her out of her stasis. I mean what a mind trick to make a woman think she's her own ghost that's just wow. Hate was not the word to use for how he felt about her it's more of envy."

"Patrick Jane envied Kristina Frye." Lisbon laughed.

"He did. He saw that she took something they both shared and she used it for good and she made a good living at it. She did it without arenas and making a full production of it, and that's what he envied. He wanted that, but because of what his father taught him and being on the road he thought that he couldn't pull it off subtly it had to be a mass production."

"Okay let's say I believe you, Patrick Jane a real psychic. Why would he let everyone think he was a fraud, Angela's brother hates him.

"Danny Ruskin is a jealous son of a bitch and if I could get my hands on him I'd kill him for how he treats my Patrick." She shouted for the first time losing her temper. She saw that Jane fire behind her eyes.

"Why lie?" Lisbon asked again.

"Tell me Teresa, who would you, rather be? A fraud that could have never seen what happened to his family or a truly powerful psychic who was too busy chasing the money and fame to see what happened to your family? That's what he lives with every day that if he was more observant when it came to his family then maybe he could have stopped Red John. That's why I'm glad he found you Teresa because before you and even a little after you all he talked about was skinning him alive and there was so much anger. You though, you've changed him. He has more control now, he sees when he needs to and don't think that he has read you because he hasn't and he would never do it. You taught him to love. He loves you so much and that's the only reason I told you all of this, because I think well I know actually that you love him just that much as well." She smiled giving Lisbon's hand a squeeze.

She believed her. She thought about Jane and the things that he did. Sure the mentalist skills were there, even his mother said he knew and could all that stuff and the hypnotism as well but they were times when he just knew things that were impossible. It made him stronger to her than she even thought, and his poor daughter. Oh she needed to hug him. She was pulled from her thoughts by a familiar voice shouted her name. She quickly ran to his room.

*Awake*

Patrick Jane had enough. He needed to get out of there. He could feel the walls closing in, and his mind kept telling him that his mother was there so he must be back in that padded cell. He couldn't think, he needed to think and find the link between Libby Matters and Charlotte Xavier? Was she even dead in the world? He needed to get out, he needed Lisbon. He could feel the drugs they were doing something to his head and he was at a full blown panic, and he was beginning to hyperventilate.

"Lisbon!" he practically screamed.

He looked to the left when he heard the door open he was sure it was orderlies coming to tie him down of course so he began to pull his IV and other various wires away.

"Jane! Calm down, this is meant to help you stop fighting, do you remember what happened?" Lisbon asked him taking both sides of his face in her hands.

He took that time to really focus and he knew, he knew what was going on? He was sick, and slowly bouncing between realities, but she didn't need to know that part did she? He looked at her eyes and she'd been crying, that's when he noticed his mother standing not too far behind Lisbon.

"You've been crying. What did she say to you?" he glared at his mother.

"She didn't say anything Jane, now I need you to relax for me. Can you do that, relax and let the nurse put the IV back. The medicine is meant to help."

She felt him tense when she came near him with the needle. He hated needles and been unconscious when they had put it in the first time.

"It's okay Jane, I'm right here and I have my gun, she's not going to hurt you. Just focus on me Jane, how are you feeling?" she asked trying to distract him.

"Oh Lisbon, you can call me Patrick. I feel loopy I can't think I need to find a connection."

"A connection to what?" she wondered what he'd been thinking about?

"Libby Matters and Charlotte Xavier, I knew here you know. Her mother Josephine called my mom so she could commit me." He stated relaxing into his pillows.

"I don't know she may not be real." He told her sighing.

Lisbon looked to the nurse wondering why he'd become so calm.

"The doctor prescribed something that won't make him sleep but feel nice while the medicine takes its effect. The first day on it will be the hardest. He might speak out of his head; it's nothing to worry about."

"You don't have to worry about that right now Patrick, you're off duty. Just close your eyes and rest." She went to ease off the bed but he grabbed her.

"Don't go, please if you leave they'll get me and take me to a padded room, I can't go back there!"

That was it. She had shattered. She knew that she would stay by this bed and beside this man forever. She loved him so much and he trusted her. She could see it, he felt just the same way as he did. He couldn't die.

"I'll stay right here Patrick, just rest."

Patrick knew that there was something that he was supposed to be remembering because Libby mattered and he wanted to get back to Charlotte and Angela but Lisbon had been crying. He hated to see her cry; all he wanted to do was make her feel better. Before he realized he had slid over in his bed and pulled her down next to him. He didn't even care that the nurse gave him a dirty look. Lisbon needed to be held. He could feel himself drifting off, he hoped when he woke up he was still here, he knew it was wrong but a part of him could stay this way forever.

Lisbon was shocked when he pulled her to lie beside him. He quickly placed her head on his chest and gave her a hug. She tried to hold back the tears she didn't want him to get upset, but ever since she heard that her best friend my die all she needed for the longest time was a Patrick Jane hug and now she was getting it. Before she realized she had drifted off to sleep as well.


	5. Chapter 5

The house of one Libby Matters was eerily quiet on this brisk Saturday morning. Where children her age should be up early watching cartoons, are awaking with a room full of friends after a sleepover of pizza and talking about boys one Libby Matters lying in her bed like a sleeping beauty with immaculate makeup was dead.

She had gone missing approximately three days ago; she had stayed after school for a yearbook meeting and hadn't been seen since. She was the second victim, it's looked like whomever killed her had killed Charlotte Xavier.

"Is everything exactly the same?" Van Pelt asked as she approached Cho who was the first on the scene.

"Yea, both of her parents are out of town. They'll be back tomorrow; she was staying with her aunt who said that Libby was sort of shy. She was standoffish because she suffered from Scoliosis. She said the people at her school didn't understand the disease and ignored simply her because of that fact."

"That's awful; she truly was a beautiful young woman." Van Pelt sighed looking at the little girl lifeless in the bed.

She quickly glanced at Rigsby, and was a little hurt that he wasn't really looking at her.

*Awake*

Wayne Rigsby looked at the girl in the bed and couldn't shake the sadness of her. She was truly beautiful. All that red hair sort of reminded him of Grace. He would like to take a moment to glance her way but then he would be reminded of what they did last night and he couldn't go back to that it was a mistake. A mistake that they both knew shouldn't have happened. It's not that they regretted it, at least he knew that he didn't he couldn't really speak for her. He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts and focus.

"Second victim, so do we see any similar factors with Libby and Charlotte?" Rigsby asked.

"None that we can find off hand, Libby was a bit shy. No one at her school understood the disease she had so she was practically treated like a Leper." Cho added.

"That's awful." Van Pelt sighed.

"She wore a back brace, from what the aunt says it was a big piece of a thing, it's why her pajamas seem to be a big baggy. Looks like he kept it as some kind of souvenir." Cho added.

"That's truly sick, what could he possibly want with that? Did he keep something from Charlotte?" Grace asked.

"Not that we know of, we still have to talk to her folks. They should be arriving at any moment, they said they'd come to the precinct. I'll head back to start the questioning. I will call Lisbon on the way and give her briefing in case she decides to come in." Cho added and walked off from the other two agents.

Rigsby took one more look at the little girl and walked of gesturing for Grace to follow.

"So do you think she's going to come in today?" Grace asked once they were outside.

"I don't know, I mean Cho said that she didn't really say much about Jane's condition when they were on the phone last but his mom's here so it must be pretty bad."

"I'm really worried, I was thinking that if we get a break at lunchtime I'd go over and take him something to eat. I know he hates hospital food, and I know he loves Sarafina's Stir Fry. I could take him some, and something for him mom as well. Do you think she's coming in?"

"I don't know, I know if it was someone that I cared about nothing could keep me from being with them." Rigsby told her as he looked deep into her eyes.

"Yea, if it was someone I cared about nothing could keep me away either." She told him as she took a minute to stare in his eyes.

"Well we better get back to work." Rigsby stated nervously.

"Yea." She told him as she walked off towards her SUV.

*Awake*

Teresa Lisbon couldn't remember falling asleep last night, so when her eyes opened she was more than a bit confused. She was lying on top of someone she knew that. Whoever it was they were having a nightmare because she could feel the hitch in their breathing. All of a sudden everything came rushing back and she jerked her head up.

Patrick Jane was having a nightmare. She could tell by the tenseness in his brow, and the fact that he was sweating. Obviously running sort of fever, she put her had to his cheek and he jerked away obviously shocked by the coldness he must've felt from her touch.

"Jane wake up." She stated give him a little nudge to no avail.

"Jane wake up!" she shouted.

*Awake*

"Heads up Patty!" Angela Ruskin shouted but it was too late the soccer ball had already hit Patrick in the head.

Patrick began to blink rapidly trying to clear his head. This was all wrong, there was something that he was supposed to be doing. Libby mattered, that was something about that she mattered but who was she?

"Dad come on, you were showing me the right way to kick." Charlotte giggled.

That's when he took the time to take in his surroundings, it was a sunny day and he was in the park. He was wearing a pair of shorts and sneakers. Charlotte was at the far end of a huge field in front of a soccer goal. She was all decked up in her soccer gear. That's when it came back to him, his days of playing soccer. He remembered that he thought if Charlotte would've lived to be older he would teach her how he had played in the carnival with the other kids that were around. He often dreamed he could've made something of himself with it if he was actually in a real school someplace. All of that was fictional of course because Charlotte was dead and this was just a sick joke his mind played on him.

"Are you okay?" Angela asked as she approached her husband. "You have been wearing yourself then trying to figure out this case. Are you any close to finding out what happened to Libby Matters? It's all they can talk about at the courthouse?" she added.

As he stood there in this eerie hallucination apart of him wanted to stay there forever, but he knew that this was a reaction to the medicine and the psychic visions he'd been getting his whole life. It was hard to control and this was his body's way of coping with the massive growth that was in his head. Just the thought of it made his head hurt. Just the thought of it made the pounding come back in his ears. He almost thought he heard Lisbon shouting his name. Not adulteress Lisbon, his real beautiful caring Lisbon. The one that he was sure he fell asleep holding. He could do this, he had to tell Angela and maybe she could help him figure out what the clue was he should take back with him. After all she always helped him figure out the hardest puzzles in his life.

"Angela, I need your help. There's something I got to tell you and I know that you are going to think that I'm crazy but I swear that it's the truth." He told her taking her hands in his.

"Patty what's the matter? You're scaring me, is this about the way you've been feeling lately, you swore to me that you were-PJ get away from there right this instant!" she shouted.

Patrick turned to the direction she had shouted in and was stunned. From behind a tree came a little boy who couldn't be any older than three or four came trotting over towards him with a stuffed teddy bear in his hands. He quickly ran and through his arms around his leg. That was it that was the final rock to crash and break the dam. He really couldn't think anymore, and he really didn't care that he could hear Lisbon shouting his name even louder now.

"I'm sorry Patty; you know how your son gets when he thinks no one is listening. What were you saying?" she asked as she took the little boy in her hands.

As he looked into the little boy's eyes that were just like his he didn't care. If he were dying he'd die happy. Another little one, a little boy that he could start over with fresh from the start, he could do it right. Red John had touched his family in this world, the scars were all over his daughter's face, but they were alive. They were alive and happy. If this was dying, was living really worth it?

*Awake*

He watched them slowly. She was beautiful; when he came across her he just couldn't believe his luck. Charlotte Jane, she would be the last of his collection, she had been taken before but had got away. Not this time, he was much cleverer than Red John. When he met her he knew right away that she would be the last and when he told her she was beautiful it was like giving candy to a baby. She would come to him and before she realized just what a full she'd been she would be taking her last breath. Oh yes, he could already imagine touching her sweet sweet lips. She was the last though; maybe he had just enough time for one more. After all she was just one half of Charlotte Squared.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Patrick Jane was a horrible person. He knew that, but he couldn't help it. He knew that on his timeline it had been a month. A month in this world that obviously wasn't real. A month since he woke up a psychic husband and father of two. A world where he was on sick leave after nearly being killed where he worked for the CBI fighting crimes and trying his best to find and make Red John pay.

He was finally figuring out the differences in this world. First thing first Kimball Cho was one of the funniest guys he ever met. That guy couldn't stop smiling. It was weird, and when he came over on a Sunday he was sort of afraid but then he brings in his wife Summer and their daughter Riley and it all makes since. IF he ever makes it back to his world he will make sure that he gets his "Pretty Woman". He had yet to meet Rigsby or Van Pelt. He knew they existed though, but he hadn't been back to work yet, that came tomorrow. When was another weird thing, because then he'd come face to face with Lisbon for the first time since this version of himself had been in his accident. This Lisbon that was with Bosco, how the hell did that happen? It was Red John. He was tamer here; he didn't kill his wife and daughter, in this world by using a gift that he'd been suppressing in the real world he came home in time to save them.

"Daddy, we going to the park right?" a small voice asked.

Patrick turned to see little Patrick Jane Jr. sitting there with a kite in his had waiting to go to the park. He knew that it was wrong and that little girls were dying in both worlds but right now he didn't care because this is what mattered he had a family.

"Go get your shoes."

He couldn't help but smile as the little boy went running off. No this was what mattered now. He quickly dressed and looked at himself in the mirror. He was happy, this was where he belonged, he would save the girls on this end. He was sure the real Lisbon could figure it out on his end. She had his mother, she would just have to help them find the connection it was right in their faces. He grabbed his coat and ran off to find his son, completely ignoring the sound of Lisbon shouting his name in his ear.

*Awake*

Lisbon turned away from the sleeping form of Patrick Jane and to the white board she had sat up in his hospital room. He was sleeping. He had been sleeping a lot now which they said was a good sign. She had seen the latest scans and the mass was shrinking which was good. They wouldn't have to operate. If they did that he could lose motor skills, or even worst some of his mental capabilities. She was staying here with him that's why they had moved the whiteboard into his room. Right now she was there with Jane and his mother. She was getting a bit antsy. She had shared with her that she often kept busy creating so she wouldn't have to deal with her psychic abilities. She still hadn't told any of the team Jane's secret. She hadn't gotten any real proof of it anyways. His mother didn't know him, she could be lying. She took another look at the board; she knew that the answer was right in front of her face she just had to find it.

Andy Mayer could feel Teresa looking at her but she was good at hiding away her emotions and ignoring a person. She wanted to help; well actually she had no choice. Hospitals were not a good place for her to be at the moment. She wasn't like her son, this was his bread and butter and he had been doing it for years so he knew how to keep it in the background. Not to give in to all the feedback that was screaming at her from the other patients in the hospital. The family across the hall awaiting the arrival of a new grandchild, it was things like that made her love her gift. Then she would think of Robert Anderson, he was in the room right across from them and he was in a coma, his pregnant wife comes and waits by his bedside every day for him to come out of his coma. He would, in the next three days he would wake up and they would start being a family. They would spend the next few months in bliss waiting for the arrival of their child, only for Robert to be struck by a drunk driver on his way to see the child being born. Times like that she hated being what she was. She needed to get out of there but she would stay for Patrick.

"Are these the victims?" she asked as she walked closer to the whiteboard.

"Yea those are all of the victims. It includes the newest victim Samantha Jameson. She was found this morning by her aide. She had looked in the room earlier that night and she just assumed she was asleep." Lisbon told her reading from a report.

"So there was a difference, all of the other victims go missing a few days right both Libby and Charlotte went missing for a few days before they were returned."

"Yea but Samantha had been away at camp. Her parents are out of town on business and she was to be taken care of by her aide for the next few days until they returned. After this of course they are on the first plane back, should be here later this afternoon.

"Aide?" Andy questioned.

"Yea Samantha Jameson was blind. The weird thing is, she goes everywhere with her dog Patches. He is nowhere to be found."

She took a closer look at all of the things that were on the board. She found it interesting how a whole case was just stacked into little columns on a white board. How did Patrick do this? Then she saw it, it was right there and she was sure that they would have seen it if they weren't making things complicated. She could do this; she could go and feel this guy out for them. It was the least she could do.

"All of this is just going over my head Lisbon, I'm very sorry."

"It's okay Andy I appreciate you at least trying." Lisbon told her as she took the time to glance back at the sleeping form of Patrick.

"It's going to be okay Teresa he's getting better. Listen I'm going to step out for a while I can't stand to see him so still."

"I understand take the time that you need, I'll be here."

"Thanks Teresa."

She slowly left the room. She didn't want to do anything that would show that she knew more than she let on. Besides she was just going to check out something.

*Awake*

Patrick Jane had been playing with PJ in the park for about an hour and a half when he saw something that made him smile.

"Hey Grace!" he called out to the redhead.

She looked to the sound of the voice calling her and then she began to run over, well run wasn't exactly the word for it.

"Hey Jane, I was looking for you actually." She beamed

"Wow Grace you look great." He beamed.

"No I don't, I'm about ready to pop, this will be my third and my last I tell you. Wayne wants to have a whole football team, but I swear they say this one is a girl so this will be my last one."

"If I know Rigsby this will not be your last one." He couldn't stop smiling.

"You know staring at me like that is going to give me some kind of complex. Listen Lisbon wants you to come down to a scene. I found out you were in the park and me and Janie decided that we'd give Uncle Patrick the message."

He looked to where she had gestured and sure enough there was a little girl with her hair and Wayne's face on the swings.

"I know she's big right, it's been awhile since we've all got together, so are you going to go to the scene Patty? I'll watch PJ and take him back to Angela when we're done."

"Sure thanks Gracie." He kissed her on the cheek and walked off. He couldn't believe it, in this world Grace and Wayne had made it work. See every time he thought about leaving this place he'd see one more thing to make him wanna stay. Maybe this was his reward for everything that had happened to him.

*Awake*

Andy Mayer sat across from Thomas Snaps of Snapshots Photography. Immediately she didn't like him, he had too much hair gel in his hair, had one of the smiles meant to make the shy girls melt but the most confident like herself feel creepy. He was annoying her with a toothpick that kept dancing in and out of his mouth. She didn't like him; she didn't like him at all. The most important thing that made her hate him the most was that she could see it, all the murders. He had hurt these girls and he had done it with a smile on his face because these little girls trusted him. They thought he loved them, they were wrong.

"So what did you say your name was again?" Thomas asked Andy.

"My name is Patricia and I want you to come to my home and take pictures of my daughter Patricia. She's very shy and I want her to know that she is as beautiful as I truly think she is."

"Oh well that's what I specialize in. I do a lot of school photos as well but I like to take those kids that might not be as beautiful as the class president or cheerleading captain. I take aside the special ones and let them know that they are truly special and not beautiful in their on way."

"In their way?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"I mean no disrespect, it's just that in some schools they are kids that are special, that if there wasn't something a bit off about them they could give the prettiest girls a run for their money. That is what I'm doing."

"Well I think I would want to see some more of your work. You said that you did some stuff at schools, and yes I can see that but what about schools around here. Have you done some stuff for schools around here?" she asked looking for confirmation to what she already knew.

Thomas took a closer look at the woman. She didn't look like a cop but the looks of cops were changing more and more every day. Were they on to him, did they actually think that they could catch him and lock him up? Oh he would have to prove to them that he was smarter than they could imagine.

"Yes I do have a few prints I've been working on, if you could come back later, let's say around three I would be more than happy to show you some things that from my recent venture into the local high schools in the area."

This was her chance, she would get proof and then she would take it too Lisbon and they would catch the bad guys. Patrick would be very happy with her when he woke up. She couldn't wait for him to see that she still had it.

"That would be fantastic. I better go; I forgot I was meeting my husband for a late lunch. I will see you after Mr. Snaps." She gave him her best smile.

He watched her as she got up and left. They thought they were clever. He wouldn't be caught. The blind one had been his sweetest yet, she couldn't see anything. He got hard just thinking about how frightened she was. He had a little time left, he would take out this mole and find him one more for his collection.

*Awake*

Patrick could tell that there was something seriously different about this crime scene the moment he arrived there. Maybe it was the victim Samantha Jameson was blind. How could do something so cruel to a person unable to see. That was the final straw that he needed to confirm his findings. This man was sick going after people with physical handicaps. That's probably how he got his jollies because they were so trusting once he told them they were beautiful. In some cases it might be the first time someone ever told them something like that.

"I think this is the hardest one yet Jane. Are you sure you're up for this?" Lisbon asked as he got on the scene.

He took a look at her, she was beautiful. She was wearing a green sweater that brought out the green in her eyes. Then there were the flecks of gold that swirled around in her irises. He wondered if he was the only one who ever saw them. What was he thinking? He had Angela and Charlotte. Not to mention PJ, this Lisbon was not his problem. What about the real one though, was she still by his bedside? Was he dead? Was there a Samantha Jameson on the other side looking for someone to catch her killer? Too many thoughts, he couldn't have them in his head.

"You okay Patrick?" Lisbon asked as she put her hand on his shoulder.

When he looked up he was expected to see just the look of a friend but he didn't. He saw the same look his Teresa gave him, and that's when it clicked. She wasn't with Bosco because she wanted to be, she was with him because she couldn't be with him.

"I'm so sorry." He found himself saying out loud.

"You alright Jane, Angela told me you were ready to come back but I also know she'd have my ass if you weren't up too it. If you're not up to it, Hightower won't be upset if you sit this one out."

"No, I need to see this, and then we have to go back to the schools, I think I know the connection."

He had already prepared himself for a body of a little girl in her pajamas. Since this one was blind he was sure that some kind of souvenir would have been talking as well, probably her eyes. He hoped not, he hoped that he'd gone with something a little subtler and taken her see and eye dog. The closer he got to the bed the more dizzy he became. He didn't know what was causing it. His palms were sweaty and all of a sudden his mouth was making too much saliva. He looked down on the bed and he didn't see the body of young Samantha Jameson. Tucked tightly in this bed his saw his mother, she had been viciously murdered. There was blood everywhere and her eyes were opened proving that she had died violently.

"Mom!" he shouted reaching for the body.

Lisbon couldn't quite understand what would make Jane say such a thing. There was no way that he could mistake that young girl for his mother. Then it dawned on her how they said his mother had died so many years ago. It was the beginning of everything really.

"Cho get him out of here he's losing it!" Lisbon shouted.

Patrick didn't understand why no one was doing anything. His mother was dead and they had called him there to see it like it was nothing, surely they knew that was no Samantha Jameson. That was his mom, all the memories of a vision that he had so long ago, he had begged her to go because of what his father might be capable of only this time it wasn't his father after all it was some sick school photographer.

"Let me back in there Cho!" he shouted trying to overpower Cho.

"Get a whole of yourself man, that's not your mother, Andy Mayer has been dead over thirty years!" he shouted trying to get through to his friend.

"What? No, she can't be dead. I saved her! I saved her!" he went to try and break through to get back to the room once more but the dizziness and nausea overtook him and everything went black.

*Awake*

Lisbon didn't know where Patrick's mother had disappeared too, she was glad that she had tried to help but when it came to reading things she guess that he had gotten that skill from his father. It didn't take them long after she left to realize that all of the schools that the victims had attended had recently had their pictures taken. The thing to do now was to track down the photographer. It was fulfilling that they were going to solve this one without Jane but it hurt that he was still in and out of consciousness. She had felt guilty going to get something eat but she could just imagine him saying "Woman get out there and get yourself something to eat", so she did. She rounded the corner and that's when she heard it, the machines in Jane's room were making all kinds of noises.

Her heart literally fell in her throat when she came around the corner his roomed was filled with all kinds of personnel. They were bringing in machines and trying to hold him down, he was definitely in distress having some kind of seizure.

"What's going on?" she asked a nurse who pulled her back.

"Ma'am you can't go in there, you need to let them work."

"What the hell happened?"

"He is suffering from one of the side effects of the meds. The tumor is shrinking but there seems to be a problem with his blood clotting."

"What does that mean?"

"There seems to be a lot of pressure building in his brain, and well if we don't get him to calm down and his blood pressure down then he may suffer a stroke."

"A stroke, that's he can't suffer a stroke!" she told the nurse as if she could stop it.

"I'm sorry Ms. Lisbon you just have to take a seat over there and someone will find you just as soon as we get him stable." She smiled but she ushered her away from his door.

*Awake*

"Mom!" Patrick shouted coming back to consciousness. He began to look around and he didn't like where was, he didn't like where he was at all. He was home, but not his real home. He was back at home with Charlotte and Angela. For the first time in this month of pure happiness he realized this is not where he wanted to be.

"Patty, I was so worried when Cho brought you in here barely conscious. He told me you thought you saw your mother at the crime scene. When he told me what was the crime scene I understood." She told him gently as she sat beside him.

"What happened to my mother?" he asked.

"Patrick I've been talking to Sophie and I told her about your recent accident and she thinks that maybe you should-"

"What happened to my mother?" he snapped causing her to pause in her rant.

"It happened when we were younger Patty, you have to remember. Your dad well he wasn't a nice man and he would hurt you and your brother sometimes. Your mom would always do her best to protect you and he killed her one night you found her in bed. You thought she was asleep." She sobbed openly.

Patrick stared back at her in horror. That' hadn't happened, he had seen it but he knew that he saved her. He had saved them both, he needed to get out of here, and quick. He leaped from the bed and begin to pace, he needed to get out of here. It was time for Alice to walk through the looking glass Andy needed him.

"That's not true! She ran, and she took my brother. I knew that dad would be fine as long as I was there to keep the money coming in."

"Patrick you were twelve years old, and yea for a while you kept it up but then he wanted you to steal some money from an old lady with a dying grandchild. You said you wouldn't do it and oh god he beat you so badly that night. We were so scared and we ran, we started working for other carnivals as far away from him as possible and then you decided to become a medium when you were in your twenties. I went to college and you were doing your own show. He kept writing you letters telling you how you were a fraud and he was practically stalking us Patty! He's been so upset because of telling the cops what he did to your mother, that why we think that he….." she stopped before she could finish that thought.

"That is what we think what?" he asked her afraid of the answer.

"That's why we think that Red John could be working for your father. We know that he's safely locked away but maybe just maybe he has someone else doing his bidding."

"No! That's not what happened. I have to get out here."

"Patty!" she shouted but he was already gone.

For the first time in a long time Patrick Jane had no idea what he was doing. He knew what seeing his mother meant, it was his stupid tumor trying to get him back to the real world. Something was going to happen. He was going to lose his mother because he wanted to stay here with a wife a child that he long buried. He needed to get back, and he needed to get back now to Lisbon. How though? How could he do it? Just then he noticed that he was on the sidewalk and all it would take was walking into traffic. Could he do that? He bit his bottom lip and braced himself, he was positive that if this didn't snap him back to his reality it was going to hurt like a real son of a bitch.


	7. Chapter 7

It hurt. That was the first thing that he realized, it freaking hurt. He thought it was how it was done in the movies, when a guy is in the wrong place he needs a shock a shock to get him back where he belonged. So he did it, he stepped off the curb and let that truck coming hit him with their best shot. It hit him alright and it hurt. Right now he didn't know which hurt the most, the pain from the actual truck hitting him or when his head hit the pavement and now what was that his brains going out over the highway? Was it really supposed to hurt this bad?

"Patrick!" he turned just in time to see his fake wife and daughter running up the street to his accident. Then he felt the familiar haze of losing consciousness. Oh he had never been so happy in his life.

*Awake*

Andy had called Teresa three times and she hadn't picked up. She didn't think that this was a trap. She was very smart, but it still didn't hurt to have the security of knowing that help was just a call away. What if this was a trap? She closed her eyes and did her best to go that place, that place that let her see beyond the veil of things, and she got nothing. She approached Snaps place and went to knock. The door was opened so she walked on in.

"Mr. Snaps I'm sorry I'm a bit late. Traffic is a real killer right about now." She inwardly cursed herself she couldn't believe that she had just said that.

She begin to ease around the corner in search of the photographer but he was nowhere in sight. Once again she was drawn to another whiteboard in the center of a room. She had to cover her mouth from screaming out loud at what she saw there. They were pictures of the young girls. Before and after she supposed, they started out as the smile of the young and innocent in their high school snapshot, but the next pictures were of them in lingerie. In obviously provocative poses, smiling to the camera, he was in the pictures with them. More proof that would help nail him to the ground, but then it dawned on her if all of this was out in the open, surely he knew what she was up too. All of a sudden her own death flashed before her eyes and she had to get out of there because she knew that it wasn't just her scary thoughts but an actual premonition.

For the second time that night she had to hold back a scream as she turned around and Thomas Snaps was there, and he had a knife.

"You don't want to do this Thomas, I'm working for the police and they know that I'm here." She did her best at bluffing.

"I seriously doubt that my friend." He smiled at her as he began to slowly advance on her.

"Oh really and how do you know that?" 

"I've been jamming your signal sense you got here, and judging by how your clutching your purse and keep darting for the exit I' guessing that you didn't get through before you entered here. Now I think I' going to play with you for a little while." He lunged at her….


	8. Chapter 8

Angela Ruskin rushed through the doors of the hospital. She wanted desperately to ride with Patrick in the ambulance but it was hard because Charlotte was beside her and was a nervous wreck. Finally the new teacher from her school Thomas Snaps had come and said he'd stay with her so she could come and see what was going on.

Jane was trying to relax and failing miserably. Everything was confusing now. He knew that he was in the hospital but everything was spliced. It was like some kind of weird double vision happening but he knew that it was both of his worlds seeping in and bleeding into each other. He could see nurses working on him but he felt so much pain, that it couldn't possibly all be from getting hit by a car, could it?

When Angela finally reached his side she took his hand in hers.

"It's going to be alright Patty; they are going to fix you right up." She said calmly trying to stay calm.

Patrick Jane wasn't paying her any attention; his view was trained to left of him, where he could see in the hallway. Out there looking scared to death was Lisbon. Not fake Lisbon but his Lisbon.

"Lisbon." He groaned.

*Awake*

Lisbon couldn't stay seated. Not that all of the nurses seemed to be leaving. Why were they leaving? They didn't look good at all, why were they all looking so sad when they came towards her. Her phone was ringing but she didn't have time to answer.

"He's asking for you Teresa." A nurse told her ushering her into the room. She didn't have to be told twice she ran towards his bed.

As she slowly approached the bed, she saw that his eyes were in fact opened but they had a glazed look to them. She wasn't even sure if he was looking at her."

*Awake*

"Lisbon, I'm so scared. I tried to but I couldn't, I can't find my way back. I need you to find me. She won't let me go." He sobbed.

Angela was mortified. Did he think she was Lisbon? Were the two of them having some kind of an affair? No, her Patty wouldn't do that. She didn't have time to worry about much but she knew that he wouldn't do that to her.

"Patty, look at me sweetheart. It's Angela, and you are going to be alright. You just have to hold on for Charlotte and me. We love you, we're a family." She held his hand tighter.

"No, no it's all wrong. You're not real I want to but I can't stay. Red John took you away, you're dead. Dead and gone, I'm sorry. Lisbon! Lisbon!" he shouted weakly.

*Awake*

Lisbon was more than a little confused. One minute she thought maybe he thought she was Angela. Was he having a conversation with Angela? She looked to the remaining nurse for reasoning.

"He's hallucinating sweetie. He has a fever and he's not responding to the medication. He's not in danger right now, but we're setting up an OR."

"OR?" Lisbon tried but it was too late all of her professionalism was out the door. Was this lady telling her they were going to cut open Jane's brain?

"They may have to medically release the pressure if it gets to be too much. I'm sorry." She tried to smile at Lisbon but even knew that this was nothing to smile about.

"Lisbon! Lisbon!" Jane shouted weakly from the bed.

"Talk to him sweetie. He's been calling for you for so long."

"I'm right here Jane, see can you see me Patrick?"

Patrick tried his best to get his eyes to focus. He could feel Angela squeezing his hand. She was upset. She thought that he was having an affair with Lisbon. He couldn't be having an affair with Lisbon because Angela wasn't real. She was dead. He took a calming breath, why did it hurt so much. He focused and everything shifted and Angela was gone. She was there.

"Lisbon." He smiled.

"You damn right it's me. Now you need to pull yourself together. We have a big case and we need your help. You can't be leaving; you wanted me to find you. I'm here. I found you." Lisbon spoke gently and failed miserably to keep herself together.

"Solved the case it was Tommy Snaps. Snaps is the killer with his snapshots and photos he's going to kill Charlie. Not my Charlie, she's fine but Charlotte Xavier. I have to keep her safe." He looked to his left at someone she had no idea what he was looking at.

"Jane?" she called out trying to get his attention.

*Awake*

"Mr. Snaps gave me a ride here. Charlotte was going to come up but she decided to go home. What are you talking about daddy, is Charlotte in trouble." His Charlotte asked as she took a seat beside her mother.

This was getting to be too much. It was hard because both of his worlds danced before him. He could see Charlotte sitting in the chair beside his bed, but he could still feel Lisbon holding his hand. He could hear her crying. He didn't want her to cry.

*Awake*

"Don't cry Lisbon. It doesn't hurt. You have to stop him. He took the pictures at the school. He made them think they were special. He's going to kill Andy." He told Lisbon. Or at least he hoped he was telling her.

That was the first time that Lisbon thought about Andy since she'd left. She had told her that she had to get away that she was sorry. Then she remembered that she had been looking at the pictures of the victims the whole time.

"Shit!" she should taking out her cellphone.

Right on it was a miss call from Andy Mayer. She had just added her name to her contacts earlier. She began to make a call.

"You can't use that in here with the machines." The nurse scolded.

She looked back at Patrick and he seemed to have fallen asleep. She had time to run outside to the hall and place a call.

*Awake*

Andy Mayer had no idea how long she had been running but as she turned what felt like the millionth corner she was thankful for all that working out she did. She was only 55 years old, but she never thought she would have to literally be running for her life. She was definitely too old for this. She could still smell him on her. He had grabbed her so quickly and put that knife to her throat. She reached up and grabbed it on reflex. He had broken the skin and then she kicked him in the groin. Her boots were clicking and a clacking all over the place and before she fell on her ass like some damsel in distress she took them off threw them and got to running. She couldn't even get in her car because she dropped her keys and never turned back.

She rounded a corner and saw a store with its light on. She never had been so happy in her life; she could tell a storm was coming that's why it was dark now. Just as she was about to reach the door a strong hand grabbed her from behind and pulled her in the alley.

"Help!" she screamed but it was muffled by the strong hand that covered her mouth. Before she even put up much a fight the blade came down on her and she was washed in pain like never before. The last thought before everything went dark was she'd never see her Patty again.

*Awake*

The screech of cellphone of Andy Mayer was enough to pull her from the awful vision she was trapped in. It was truly hard to hide from a psychotic killer while you had visions of him murdering you. God she hated her life sometimes.

*Awake*

Teresa Lisbon was getting worried. This was her third time calling Jane's mother. She looked back to the room and decided she would give it one more try. She was ecstatic when there was a pick up on the first ring.

"He's trying to kill me!" Andy shouted into the phone.

"Who, where are you Andy?"

"I'm off of Amsterdam. It's the fucking photographer. Thomas Snaps is your killer; I never should've come here and tried to do this on my own. I just wanted my Patty Cake to be proud of his mother for something else for once." She sobbed.

"Just stay hidden I'm coming with backup right now."

"Lisbon wait there's something that you should know he's-"then the line went dead.

"Andy! Andy! Shit!" she cursed as she hung up to put in a call for back up.

She turned back to tell the nurse that she'd be back but the alarms once again in Jane's room went crazy.

"Cold blue!" she heard someone shout and she was truly torn when it came to what to do next.


	9. Chapter 9

She was numb. There was only one word to describe how she was feeling right about now and it was numb. Maybe it had something to do with the pain meds that she was on, yea that knife wound was going to hurt in the morning, but Andy was going to be okay…..eventually. It all came down to decisions and she told herself that she was doing the right thing but now that she stood here in a hospital room waiting for the person she loved more than anything in the world to be okay, she realized that maybe just maybe she made the wrong decision. I guess it's best if you knew the story from the beginning.

Four hours Earlier…..

"Code blue!" she heard them shout.

For a brief second she forgot all about Andy's cry for help because she ran back toward Jane's room. Once again the nurses were back but it was so much different this time. They were sliding him down in his bed and tearing open the shirt of his pajamas. It was like on all those tv shows that she watched but didn't dare tell anyone. He was about to shock him. They shocked him once, and she looked away she couldn't watch. She let out a breath that she didn't realize that she had been holding when the machine let out that familiar beat of a heart. Then they began to unhook machines as they removed his bed from the room.

"What's going on?" she asked a nurse she managed to grab as they zipped by her for the elevator.

"His heart stopped, and there's a bleed they have to go in."

"Go in, do you mean in his head, are they going to go in his head?" she asked panicked.

"I'm really sorry it's the best chance that he has, a doctor will find you I have to go."

She watched the nurse go and tried to stop her panicking but she was hyperventilating. They were about to open up his brain and do god only knows what. She had to get out of there, and that's when she remembered his mother.

"Shit." She muttered pulling out her phone. "Cho I need you to trace a phone for me. We got trouble." She talked into the phone as she called for an elevator. She knew that Jane was in the best care; his mother had made sure of it. They would make sure he survived and all she had to do know was make sure that his mother was alive when he woke up.

*Awake*

There was no pain. That was the first thing that Patrick Jane noticed when he opened his eyes. The second was that he was in a lovely garden just lying in the grass. Everything was perfect, he felt at peace. Just when he was about to drift back to sleep he was shaken by a little kick to the thigh. He opened one eye and his heart nearly stopped. Looking down on him was the familiar smile of one Charlotte Jane, but not the teenager he had grown accustom to in these past hallucinations, no this was the little cherubic face of his six year old daughter.

"Charlie?" he asked.

"Come on daddy, we've been waiting on you for so long." She giggled and took of down the garden he'd been lying in.

He got up and took off after her, and that's when he noticed his clothes. Gone was his typical three piece suit and replaced were a nice suit of white. When he caught up to her she had run up to another familiar figure. His beautiful Angela sat on a bench dressed in white.

"Angela?" he gasped.

"Hello Patrick, I've been waiting for you. Come here, we need to talk."

*Awake*

Andy Mayer had decided that if she was in fact going to die she was going to go with a bang and definitely not a whimper. She had fought and had managed to get the knife away from him. It was easy he was turning out to be rather gun, but when he put down the knife and bashed her in the head with a gun barrel then she realized now he was playing with power. She awoke in the back of his van and for the last few minutes she rode silently as he mumbled to himself.

"You can't do this, do you realize who I am?" she screamed from the backseat trying to buy some time.

"I know exactly who you are? You some old bitch trying to be a detective, what all those nights of watching Murder She Wrote you decide to be Mrs. Fletcher for real?" he smirked.

"I'm not that old!" she shouted being insulted by that Angela Lansbury reference.

"You just had to get in my business; I bet you don't even have a daughter named Patricia?"

"You're right I don't, I have a son and his name is Patrick Jane and he works for the CBI. The cops are probably following us right now. So you just find a street and I will hop out and I will not tell anyone what I saw."

"How stupid do you think I am? I know who Patrick Jane is, as much as he causes trouble with the government everyone knows who he is, I'm better off if I just kill you quickly and try to get away. Isn't that guy a psychic, bet he didn't see this coming?" He laughed.

*Awake*

Patrick wasn't entirely sure how long he had been there or where exactly here was? He had a feeling but to believe something like that he would have to throw logic out the window right along with all of his beliefs. He was lying on this bench and Angela was running her fingers through his girls like she did after every tapping and Charlotte was nearby in a meadow. A meadow! It was so perfect but how was it that it wasn't.

"You can't stay here." She told him gently.

"Why not, this is where I wanted to be for so long?"

"It's not your time Patty; right now they are tons of people fighting to save your life. You have to go back Patrick. She needs you."

"I need you! I can't take it anymore. He took the past thing that ever happened to me. He took you and he took Charlotte! This brain tumor is the best thing that ever happened to me, I'm back here with you where I belong. I should've died that night. No he just left me so that I would suffer, that I would have to go on living and realizing that you are not there. It hurts too much, and now Lisbon. I wake up every morning and I know that maybe surrounded by death and who knows what but I don't care because I just want to see her green eyes and smile. I can't get attached cause once I get attached he'll just take her too. This way she lives." He explained.

"You have to move on Patrick. We are safe and you have to make sure that monster can't hurt anyone else. You have to come clean with her and tell her the truth. You have to stop hiding behind your gift and use it openly. It can save a lot of lives because as you know it Red John is not the only monster out there. You have to keep the world a little safer."

Patrick wanted to be selfish. He wanted to close his eyes and take it in. Why couldn't he be happy in this, in this what he supposed was death. He wanted it all to be over, he wanted to rest.

"Why can't this be over?" he asked out loud.

"Because Lisbon needs you Patrick, she needs you just as much as you need her." A familiar voice spoke.

He looked up and was once again shocked at the person before him.

"No mom, please tell me you're not dead." He gasped.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

In situations like this is when things get messy. People make assumptions and try to be hero and in the end someone ends up getting hurt. That's why Teresa Lisbon was happy when her team and her team alone were tracing the signal of one Andy Mayer's phone. All things pretty much went to shit when word got out that it was actually THE Andy Mayer. Well then the AG and the men in charge decided that it was best that Teresa had as much manpower as she needed. Her team was still in charge, but they had snipers and officers on all sides of the perimeter. She knew that they were there to help but deep down she could feel that they were going to be the death of Andy Mayer.

*Awake*

"Mom." Patrick stated embracing his mother.

"Hello Patrick, now it's time for you to get back to Lisbon. She needs you, and you waiting around here will no one any good."

"What happened to you? It couldn't have been dad, I saved you. I told you to run and you ran away. It couldn't have been him."

"It's not, you saved me and this time, now it's my turn to be the mother that I couldn't be so long ago."

"No, you are fine, we've had our differences but it's fine. You'll make it up to me. You always make it up too me."

"I'm doing the right thing this time sweetheart. This time I get to save you." She smiled approaching him.

"No I won't go back! I won't! I won't!

Patrick Jane felt his body jerk awake. He knew that he was once again in a hospital room. This time things were very different. He couldn't speak because there was a ventilator attached and the tube was still down his throat. He hurt he hurt all over, especially in his head. His mind was cloudy and it was like he couldn't pay attention.

"Hello Mr. Jane. It's very good to see those green eyes of yours; you had us all quite worried. I don't know where Teresa is right now but she was quite worried as well, didn't want to leave your bedside but you know that police work of hers. So I'm going to give you a little something to help you sleep okay. Just relax it's all over." She told him reassuringly.

There were so many things that he wanted to say. He had so many questions. Why did she send him back? He was happy there, and why would Lisbon need him more than anything now. What happened to his mother? He was trying his best to think straight but the meds they had given him was making him woozy, and before he knew it he was sound asleep.

*Awake*

Thomas Snaps was at the end of his rope. He could hear the cops all around the warehouse that he had stopped in. Who knew that old hag had her phone this whole time, he figured that she had dropped it when she dropped her car keys silly on him.

"See you've been a fool. You should just leave. If you let me go, they'll just be happy that I'm alive and they'll let be distracted. You can get out of here."

"Like they would let me go, I killed some kids. I mean it really was an accident. Charlotte was so beautiful and no one else saw it. She just wanted someone to see that she was worthy and I did. I took her picture and she was beautiful. She told me it was the first time she felt special. So I took her to my place and I gave her some wine and then we…"

"I don't want to hear how you forced yourself on some young girl! You are sick, just because someone did that to you doesn't mean it's okay for you to turn around and do it to someone. That should be the reason for you not to want to be a sick fuck, but you used it as an excuse. No one will fucking believe you anyway."

"How did you know that? Who told you that? You don't know me you don't know anything about my life!" he advanced on her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, it's just you have been touching me all day; I can't help what I see. It wasn't your fault. What your mother did to you was wrong." She sighed.

"I'm going to wish you never mentioned her. You don't know me! I'm going to make you wish you'd kept your big mouth shut."

He raised his knife to stab her, and she closed her eyes to prepare for the pain.

"Thomas Snaps drop the knife now!" Lisbon shouted coming into view.

"I didn't mean to do it. That girl Charlotte she had an allergic reaction to the medication. Then I saw how peaceful she looked. Her pain was gone and she didn't get funny looks and she died in my arms knowing that I thought that she was the most beautiful girl in the world." He told her while still holding the knife on Andy.

"You okay Andy?" Lisbon asked.

"I'm fine Teresa, there's no need to worry. Everything is going to be alright. How's Patrick?" she asked.

"Let's not worry about him right now; I'm going to get you out of here so that he can see you when he wakes up from surgery."

"You think I'm stupid don't you. This can only end one of two ways. One I let you take me to jail and the law kills me, or we could just end it here." He spat raising his knife.

"You don't want to do that. Andy Mayer is a very important person. If you let her go that shows good faith and then maybe you could get some kind of deal."

"I can't. When I started this I knew how it was going to end, and well I'm not going to make it in prison." He plunged the knife into Andy's stomach and was dead before she hit the ground.

*Awake*

Grace Van Pelt stood frozen in the doorway. Her team was out in the field fighting to save Patrick's mom's life and he had no clue. She told them that she would go and be with him, he shouldn't be alone when he woke up; he deserved to have a familiar face around.

She couldn't tell anyone how this was affecting her. Jane meant so much to her, and it wasn't that she was in love with him per say but she knew that if he wasn't alright it would hurt. It would hurt deep down in her soul. Jane always knew what was going on with her, and she never had to tell him. He knew when she just needed a hug, or if she just wanted reassurance that what she did mattered and she was appreciated. Many nights she would stay late and drink tea and listen to him talk about his daughter. She was so envious about how much he loved his daughter. Her father never even really gave her a second glance after he discovered she didn't have a penis so it was pretty much since the day she was born. He was all about football and she would never play football. She remembered the one time she told him that he had no one to blame that she was a girl but himself because the male picks the sex of the baby and well let's just say that Lionel Van Pelt didn't give a rats ass about that biology lesson. She was the only one of the gang that called him Patty. When no one was around and they were just having tea and being silly he was her Patty. Now this, she walked in and took a seat. She took his hand in hers and was greeted by the warmth of it, and surprisingly he squeezed it. She looked up and couldn't help but smile back at the warm, alert eyes that smiled back at her. She knew that if the ventilator wasn't in that he'd be smiling as well.

"I thought I'd come and keep you some company." She smiled relaxing for the first time since his collapse."

*AWAKE*

Teresa ran to the aide of Andy while pulling out her walkie talkie. She knew that there was an ambulance on the way but she had to feel like she was doing something. So she called for one herself as she began to hold her hand to the wound.

"Andy stay with me please, you're going to be alright?" she told her.

"No I'm not. It's fine though, tell my Patty that I'm sorry." She gulped.

"I said you be fine we'll…." She stopped when she felt the knife go through her shoulder.

"Son of a bitch!" she hissed shooting him one final time.

*Awake*

Grace must've dozed off because she was woken by thrashing from the bed. Patrick was currently trying to remove the vent that was helping him breathe."

"Don't do that Jane! That's there for a reason." She stood over him so he could focus on her face. He was moving his hand as if he wanted to write something down.

"What is it Jane?" she reached for the pad by his bed and put it in his hand to see if she would be able to make out what he was trying to say.

When she looked down at the paper she couldn't believe that. How did he even know that could be a possibility? She was more stunned when she looked up and he was crying.

"No Jane, it's alright. Lisbon is with your mother right now and they are both just fine." She smiled running her fingers through his hair trying to bring him comfort and praying to god she wasn't lying.

*Awake*

She was numb. There was only one word to describe how she was feeling right about now and it was numb. Maybe it had something to do with the pain meds that she was on, yea that knife wound was going to hurt in the morning, but Andy was going to be okay…..eventually. It all came down to decisions and she told herself that she was doing the right thing but now that she stood here in a hospital room waiting for the person she loved more than anything in the world to be okay They gave her a room and took his mother away, she just wants them to come and say that she's released so she can go and be with Jane. She doesn't even know how his surgery went.

"Teresa how are you feeling?" Dr. Argentina asked as she entered her room.

"I'm fine, just a little scratch really? How did Jane's surgery go, and his mother I should let him know how his mother is doing?"

"Teresa I know that you are anxious to be released so that you can go and be with Jane but there are a few things we need to discuss first." He took a seat beside her.

She didn't know what was going to come next but she knew it wasn't going to be good. He just had that look about him. She knew what came next and she feared things would never be the same. The doctor went on and on about how Jane had a seizure on the table and that with this part of the brain there could be all kinds of problems and that I needed to prepare myself for what could be wrong. They currently had him on a vent and if I would come with them they would take him off of it.

"Before we go Andy Mayer, is she going to be alright?" she asked already knowing the answer.

"I'm sorry. She didn't make it.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"She didn't make it." She asked again for confirmation.

"I'm sorry. You did stop the bleed at the scene but Andy Mayer was older than she looked and well her heart couldn't take the trauma."

"Did someone tell Jane? Please tell me that no one told him yet?" she asked alarmed.

"No, he has a visitor right now a Van Pelt? She's a part of your team correct?" he asked for confirmation.

"Yes, how long has she been in there?"

"Oh since he woke up, he even fell asleep a few times but she said she would stay she didn't want him to wake up alone."

"Well let's go, I really want to see him and I'm going to have to tell him about his mother so let's go." She winced as she rose from her bed.

"Wait I'm not sure you understand what happened in there?"

"You told me that things might be different, he knew Van Pelt he's going to fine."

"I just want you to be prepared that things might not be the same with him. Now the scans don't show any permanent damage but what happened to him was sort of like stroke we don't know what he might have to come back from."

"It doesn't matter what he has to come through, he'll have me to get him through it. He just lost his mother but its fine. I love him." She stated firmly not even waiting for the doctor to lead the way.

*Awake*

This time when he woke up his head was clearer. He knew where he was but there was something wrong. He needed to find something, his mom. She was gone now he knew that, he knew the minute that she left. Then he remembered he woke up and the tube was down his throat and Van Pelt was there. The tube!

When Lisbon walked in she wasn't shocked to find one Patrick Jane trying to pull the tube from down his throat. She went to the side of his bed but she couldn't stop the smile that was on her face the doctor was afraid that he was going to be impaired he was still her Jane.

"Mr. Jane, you have to be calm and we're going to take the tube out.

Lisbon went to the side of the bed and took Jane's hand. She wasn't surprised when Van Pelt took this moment to leave. She had seen this done only once with her father and it's not a good thing to witness."

Jane hated hospitals and that thing when they said that it was like blowing out a candle was such a crock. It hurt it felt like, well it felt like a tube was being pulled from his body.

"Okay Mr. Jane, I'm going to go and get a nurse and we're going to do some assessments but first I think Teresa would like a moment with you. I don't want you to try and talk yet, that can be a bit uncomfortable" then he exited the room.

Okay this was the moment she could do this. She could discuss silly things like loving him and wanting to be with him forever later. Right now she needed to tell him that his mother had passed. She looked down and he was looking at her but something was off.

"Jane your mother, your mother helped us solve the case. It was a Thomas Snaps. He was the photographer at all the schools. He had been picking the girls. He wanted to prey on the weak and the disabled. He made them feel special. That's was how he got them to trust them. The first one was an accident but after that I guess he just snapped."

She watched as he took all of this in. His facial expressions were weird. He was looking in the corner at something that she couldn't see and then he turned towards the door. Then she thought about what his mother had been telling her the whole time.

"You know don't you? I tried Jane I really did, but he had a knife. She wasn't alone when it happened and she didn't suffer."

She was almost afraid to look back up at him. She was afraid that he would have look of disappointment on his face, that he would hate her because she wasn't able to help his mom. She couldn't see that look on his face, not after she knew how much she loved him. She was overwhelmed when his hand came up in an attempt to touch her shoulder. A single tear had escaped his eye and it broke her heart. He tried to reach for again and failed and that's when she noticed there was something wrong with his hand.

The doctor had told her that things could be wrong with him but this was too much. The speech, the way every time he reached for her his hand would just fall almost boneless. She knew that her mind was trying to process this to no avail, she could only imagine the horror that he must be feeling.

"Jane, what's the matter? Patrick, tell me what's wrong?" she asked him panicked. She took his hand in hers when he failed the third time to touch her.

"Li…Li…Lisnon." He said incoherently. He began to panic what was wrong with him? He was scared and he tried but he failed he collapsed in a spell of uncontrollable sobs.

Lisbon didn't know what was going on. She was scared, something was wrong and he was scared as she took him in her arms and he really let go of everything. Even his cries were a bit off.

How could this be happening to him? It was unfair; he had just lost his mother. He didn't have much left, but his mind. His beautiful mind, it was always so full of knowledge and skill.

"It's okay Patrick, I'm so sorry. We'll get through this, I'm here. I love you." There she said it.

Jane froze. She had said it. She had said it hadn't she? Everything was like a pond of murky water but he could've sworn that she had said she loved him. He glanced up at her and to see her crying broke his heart. Then he decided that he would take advantage of this situation. Besides something was obviously wrong with him he could literally chalk it up to brain damage later. He leaned in and kissed her like he wanted too for the longest time, and his heart melted a little bit when she kissed him back.

*Awake*

Grace Van Pelt had decided to go back to the room and see how Jane was after they removed him from the ventilator. She was stunned yet happy when she saw them kissing. She didn't know what was going on but she had a feeling that she was witnessing the beginning of something huge.

The End…..

There you have it folks. That's it look for the untitled Sequel soon. Would you rather it now or something else from the Mentalist beforehand? Alright so that the end doesn't make you all sad here's a sneak peek of the still untitled sequel…

Jane hated his physical therapist. The tools that she said would assist him were for shit. His hand still wasn't any better. He used the tool to grasp the side of his bed and eased himself into it. He was just settling down for a nice nap when his bedroom door flew open.

"What the hell Jane?" A very angry Lisbon shouted as she entered with Sammy on her heels.

"What?" he grumbled.

"Don't you what me? I saw you, well scratch that I not only saw you wobbling away from the scene I heard you mouthing off at the officer on scene so that tells me that your vocabulary has picked up wouldn't you say?" she asked tapping her foot for confirmation.

"Maybe." He replied, taking a sip from his tea and trying not to doze in front of her. It had been a full day and he truly was tired.

"Teresa you see that he's tired, maybe you should come back later." Sammy told her.

"Come back later, come back later! I live here, that's my bed. I mean someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on right now. I'm in a bank trying to talk down a gunmen and the next thing I see outside is my boyfriend trying to break a barricade. He can barely walk, and barely speak or so I thought. Surprise, when I hear him calling Det. Jones a son of a bitch and trying to smack him with his cane."

Jane couldn't help but smile at Lisbon's words; she was so cute when she was worked up. He quickly made his face return to a mask of peaceful sleep when she turned around to face him.

"Someone tell me what's going on right now or so help me!"


End file.
